Yes thats artblock with a capital A. Been having it for so very very long now but it seems I'm finally able to fight my way out of it(knocks on wood). Currently working on one long term project and one short term, the last one will most probably only be read by the person I'm writing it for though. Anyway I'll try to finish something at least to such a degree that it can be submited.

Being apathic...... can't even get depressed even though I know I should.
......Yeah... Can't think of anything else to say really. Life on hold.


I love you with all my heart little frysnos.

Yes well, thought it was time to uppdate this.
Soooo.......
New computer = Happy
Neverwinter Nights 2 disks doesn't work = sad
Back together with Anni = Happy
Annis about 600-700 km away and I don't know that I will see her before may = sad
Going into town to have a lan with my brother and a few others using new comp = happy
C&C 3 a minor dissapointment = sad
Truck load of other problems of varied nature = sad

Well thats the best I could do for now.
Trying to write. Failing because of new computer etc. I need some new books. Although I prolly wouldn't be able to read them right now. Not in the right state of mind so to speak.
Listening to Girlfriend makes me want to kill Avril. With spikes.
So yes. Issues........

......I do believe I need a friend to talk to. Well fuck that. I've been betrayed and hurt a bit to much lately for that. Maybe in a few years, or millenia.

At least I have Anni.
Thank you love. You're my reason for going on right now. I hope you're having fun at that party.

I'm feeling mean today
Not lost, not blown away
Just irritated and quite hated
Self control breaks down
Why's everything so tame?
I Like my life insane
I'm fabricating and debating
Who I'm gonna kick around

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

I'm feeling cold today
Not hurt just Fucked away
I'm devastated and frustrated
God I feel so bound
So why'd I feel the need?
I think it's time to bleed
I'm gonna cut myself
and watch the blood hit the ground

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

You open your mouth again
I swear I'm gonna break it
You open your mouth again,
My God I cannot take it

Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)

Shut up!

--------------------------------------

Nothings fucking helping!

Starting up…………
Task: Test capabilities of mind and body in relation to decreased food and energy intake
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Testing of speed and strength commencing…………. Anomaly detected.
Analyzing……………Unknown increase in capabilities.
Speed - Body………..Operating at approx. 110% of earlier known peak capability.
Speed – Mind……….Operating at approx. 120% of earlier known peak capability.
Strength – Body……..Operating at expected levels.
Starting analyze on increased speed:
Testing……………….Speed increased beyond previous peak capacity, cause unknown.
Danger
Damage to systems detected…..
Tests aborted…..
Assessing damage……………….Complete
Damage to muscles and tendons of right arm detected
Reason: The increased speed is straining systems beyond current limits………Regenerative procedures started and running
Further testing to be avoided or restrained until such time that body can handle strain without deterioration.
Assessment confirmed and accepted.

Searching for reason for increase in speed…………………First scan complete
Analyze have detected changes in muscles and thought capacity. Cause unknown.
Significant amounts of stored energy found in both cases. Cause and origin unknown.
Energy encountered exceeds both known produced and (CLASSIFIED) levels.

Further and deeper analyzes needed to find cause and to asses potential effects.